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Numerically speaking

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BECAUSE we speak and read English, watch Hollywood movies, and follow US political news, we are comfortable traveling to the States, even if immigration procedures can sometimes unnerve us. We’re fine with verbal fluency even catching the idioms thrown at us — Have a nice day! (Too late.) It is not language inadequacy that trips us up but our inability to think and speak numerically.

If asked by a New Yorker, would you know the humidity level or pollen count in Metro Manila where you live? Where can one find such info? Our weather bureau just takes care of storms coming and leaving, identifying the probable exit path of a typhoon, and maybe estimated centimeters of rainfall. Without a typhoon, or the prospect of one, numbers pertaining to climate don’t usually come up in any conversation — bring an umbrella, it looks cloudy.

So numerate are Westerners, Americans especially, that they even number streets and avenues. Only recently in BGC in Taguig did the urban planners (from the private sector) use numbers for avenues and streets. This makes directions to restaurants, spas, and buildings easier to locate — I’m waiting at the branch on 26th Street and Fourth Avenue.

Distances here are couched in estimated travel time. (Rush hour or weekend traffic?) This subjective approximation of traffic flow and the time of day makes us unreliable as tour guides to newly arrived foreigners.

In the West, distances are numeric. And woe to the Filipino car renter who needs to ask a gas station attendant the way to a particular factory outlet. (Go west three miles and then take Exit 6 going north — did you get that?) Nowadays, the Google Map app provides a nice female voice — the next exit is 300 meters to the right. Take the third lane now. And don’t chat with your passengers, Sir. (You missed the turn, Bro.)

As for weather, it is not enough to say it will be a hot day. North Americans cite temperature now in centigrade (at least in Canada) although Americans insist on Fahrenheit just to show you there is only one superpower left in the world, and it does not care for the metric system. (Bring it up at the UN.) They throw in wind chill factors, probability of thunderstorms in percent, and a three-day forecast (with a 12% cyclone possibility).

Even in restaurants, numbers help. Do not try Italian even from the menu of an Italian restaurant. (The waiter may be Ugandan anyway.) Read off the number from the menu. It usually has a photo of the dish. And if you want a soft-boiled egg, mention how many minutes you want (Do they start counting after boiling point or from when the egg is dropped on the room temperature water?) Just state 30 seconds and take the drippy thing you get.

We may have caught up with numbers when it comes to sports coverage like basketball as our own TV commentators use statistics like blocked shots, steals, assists, with numbers going back to records set and broken. Statistical comparisons among players’ career performance are now part of the broadcast routine.

We do catch Americans, and that includes a cousin who’s been living there and soaking up the numbers, with imprecision and ambiguity now and then. When asked how they are, they give vague answers — I’m good. Still, we are not surprised when the same question is answered by locals asked about their health. They recite blood pressure numbers (systolic and diastolic), cholesterol levels, and heartbeat per minute at rest. This is followed by calories consumed per day and the fiber count of pumpkin as opposed to avocado. (Don’t forget the 10,000 steps measured by the wristwatch.)

There are still some occasions when numbers should be avoided. When a loved one asks how she looks, will she appreciate a numerical appraisal? You look like a 10. (Is that out of 100?) Maybe, a Shakespearean sonnet’s ambiguity is more apropos — “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.” (What’s for dinner, Love?)

We don’t always need to imitate the West when it comes to precision with numbers. When asked how much our net worth is, it is best to avoid numbers and change the topic — how’s your blood sugar level?

Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda

ar.samson@yahoo.com

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